Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
