rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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