But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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