I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
