It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
