we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
do herpes really smell.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
