Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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