Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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