NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
