sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
