Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
