Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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