The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
