you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I cut my penus on the lid.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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