i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
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sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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