I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
