sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
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