i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
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