I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
