i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
