When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
