Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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