I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
