oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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