At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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