Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
