I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
