You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
