my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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