I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
