It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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