I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
