3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
