I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
