Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
