Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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