i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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