My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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