HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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