I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
