okay pat passed out under dana's car
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
