I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
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Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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