So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
