So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
