my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize