He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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