Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
