Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
