I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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