quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
