My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
