it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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