Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
