He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize