So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
