dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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