is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
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