sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
