East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
